You may think differently if you’re one of those sex addicts who gets satisfaction in seeing flashes of 60+ year old women in the nude, or holding onto the panties of the members of your Sex Anonymous meetings that you sneak off to the bathroom with.

But unless you fall within those parameters, the darkness of Choke isn’t worth sitting through for that very tiny glimpse of light that is the film’s conclusion.

Instead of seeing Choke, just order late night Cinemax. You’ll get the same poor acting, cheesy writing, but definitely more pleasure.

NARRATOR: Vicky sat with Cristina and Juan in a romantic Spanish restaurant drinking red wine. Juan had randomly approached and convinced both Vicky and Cristina to travel with him to his vacation home for the weekend. Vicky, who is more conservative than Cristina, doesn’t appreciate Juan’s aggressive Spanish sensuality. So, with her second or third drink, she speaks her mind.

VICKY: When I drink, I become frank…

While this is not an exact replication of an excerpt from the Vicky Cristina Barcelona script, it is the outline of a scene that well-encompasses the objective for Woody Allen’s most recent story of love.

Barcelona is a slightly drunk drama, by nature, that capitalizes on both Allen’s storytelling creativity along with its unsettling frankness.

Thunder is the most refreshing, brave and entertaining comedy of the year, and it didn’t come from an independent studio or an up-and-coming filmmaker.

Ben Stiller perfectly assembles pieces of pop culture, satire and humanity to present a much-needed comedy that really was either going to be a hit or a miserable miss.

Clear skies ahead for Thunder. You are now free to roam about this review.

And while many of the country’s cross-dressers may take a different, more literal approach to attraction, I’m speaking more metaphorically about their tourist economy. Thailand is the world’s largest exporter of rice, host to more than 115 different newspapers, and a land devoted to their noble king and humble Buddha. There are virtually no traces of the Western world, yet they so heavily rely on tourism to help them survive day-to-day. For one month, I backpacked with my friend, Charlie, through the jungles, across the beaches, and in the most touristy and non-touristy parts of Thailand. They can’t afford a sock, yet they make sure to keep one stuffed in their pants to impress tourists. And as a visibly noticeable tourist, experiencing the backwardness of their society helped to bring issues of our Western world to the forefront.

What if the future of the United States of America rested on the shoulders of Champaign County?

I recently watched that new HBO movie, Recount, about the ‘truth’ behind the 2000 presidential election. The movie focused on the story of the citizens of Palm Beach County, Fla., where little old ladies misread ballots and the hanging chad changed the course of American history. Gore won, and then he lost, and then he won, and then he lost … all because the members of a small county didn’t have their act together.

This got me nervous thinking about the situation happening in our beloved Illinois community. Champaign City Council meetings frequently feature discussions about whether or not we should plant more trees in residential neighborhoods. What would happen if the nation’s eyes were beading on us to make the decision regarding our next president?

It’s November 7, 2000. Bush vs. Gore