Smile Politely. Speak Directly. A Champaign-Urbana Culture Blog

As far as we know, Urbana's Planning Commission doesn't get its pockets lined with cash. Unscrupulous developers don't buy votes here. Maybe in Champaign, but not Urbana.

Thursday night, the Urbana Commission will consider a proposal to restrict the construction of impersonal apartment buildings. Here's the News-Gazette story about it.

Basically, Urbana is going to encourage the people who take care of neighborhoods (homeowner occupants) to stay in those neighborhoods, and keep them nice. The loser in this battle is the slumlord, who knocks down old houses to make way for cheap apartment buildings.
Urbana let this happen in decades past, and today's overflowing trash bins are the visible consequence. The invisible consequence is the loss of fantastic old houses, and the emergence of ugly, shitty apartment buildings.

Perhaps the problem is that we have been too narrow in our definition of what science actually is. For example, the creationists have been telling us for a long time that the well-thought-out and researched theories of evolution are no match for the mythologies of the Judeo-Christian traditions. Perhaps they are on to something. After all, they’ve written books and in so doing have helped us to see that books are no longer the domain of well-done, peer-reviewed, scholarly research. The creationists have also opened a Creation Museum thus showing us that museums are no longer a place where scholarly research can be disseminated to the common person.

The Olympics are already more than halfway over. As usual, they have provided valuable life lessons for athletes and viewers alike. A small sample includes:

• Sports are more interesting and broadcast-worthy when Americans are good at them.
• The love of sport and competition is important, but the big endorsement deals don’t go to losers.
• Individuals need skill, determination, hard work and sometimes luck to win. Nations sometimes need forged passports to win.
• China is concerned with worldwide attention on human rights, but not so much that they are going to give Tibet back to the Tibetans.

These are all fine lessons, and I am wiser for having learned them. However, the single biggest lesson I learned from these games turns out to be one of my favorite Stephen Colbert lines: The market has spoken, and global warming is real.

This week, Ask Politely is a special commentary by our resident film critic, Chuck Koplinski. The rest of the piece can be found by clicking "Continue Reading" below. Please join in the discussion.

This is going to be messy.

There is a current controversy raging around Ben Stiller’s new film, “Tropic Thunder.” At its core, it is a vicious satire about vacuous Hollywood movies, the avarice of the bean counters that finance them and the narcissistic film actors who star in them. Method acting, the process through which performers go to great lengths to research and inhabit their roles before the cameras begin to roll, takes a particularly strong beating. In the film, five time Oscar winner Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.) goes to the nth degree with this method by undergoing a skin pigmentation process that makes him look like an African American in order to play his role.

However, this modern take on blackface isn’t causing the firestorm. Actually, I haven’t read a single derogatory thing about it. Nope, the controversy is about the film’s frequent use of the “R word.”

No, it's not “rim job,” either.

It's “retard.”

I believe having a sense of community is a powerful, spiritual force in our lives. The central act of Christian worship is (or should be) Communion which isn’t just about drinking wine and eating bread, but about doing those things with a community of believers to symbolize our unity, love and acceptance of one another.

But it just so happened that on bill day this month, I decided to buy a knife magnet, and remembered Coop America. By knife magnet, I don’t mean a magnet in the shape of a knife. That would be both useless and dangerous (unless there was a shiny, metallic robot coming after you, in which case you would have bigger problems than a magnetic knife could solve).

When Merchandising Tool, Viacom (MTV) first arrived on cable, their programming consisted of almost nothing except promotional videos for popular music. As they began to hone their marketing skills, MTV culled and grouped videos they felt would be well-received by targeted demographics. They labeled this survey Top 20 Video Countdown.

Why the disproportionate overlapping? It's not for lack of material. Although MTV didn't start until 1981, music videos had been around since the 20s. And even in 1987, no Whitesnake video was better than Strawberry Fields Forever.

That show ruled the ratings for its target market. So naturally, there were umpteen spins-off, and variations. Soon, upping the ante, MTV began to run regular top-videos-of-all-time programs. Discriminating viewers quickly identified a tendency for MTV to include current hit favorites among the listees. That is, you could count on the "100 Best of All-Time" being pretty much the same as the "Top 20 of the Week."

Welcome to Champaign-Urbana, which was tenth in the Top Green Cities list 2007, by Country Home magazine, in conjunction with Sperling's BestPlaces — although in 2008 we have moved down to #56. (And I cannot believe that Boston-Quincy, Mass. is higher than us, I think they paid someone off.)

This article was originally going to be about how to deal with the repercussions (on the playground) of teaching your child to practice non-violence, and how to lecture any other child who attempts to hurt, maim, or take something away from your own child, but if I wrote it, I would piss off a lot of people, most of whom are related to me.

Then I was going to write about my proposal that If Drug Deals Are Going On Near My House, I Should Get A Cut Of The Action (the money, I mean) — and couldn't that be taxed somehow to help us build roads and schools or at least pay for the fireworks next year? But then I thought that's probably a really bad idea too.

So instead I'll just smile politely and talk innocuously and inoffensively about throwing shit away.

As the site of the main campus of the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana certainly qualifies as a college town in a fairly pure sense. There's certainly not many other geographical reasons for our fair cities to be anything more than the seat of an agricultural county.

There's a certain eclecticism that comes nearly standard with being a college town (unless you're Terre Haute). It's a special atmosphere that lends itself to greater diversity and tolerance than would normally be found in similarly-sized towns.

But how does C-U compare to other college towns? From Olympia to Gainesville, Berkeley to New Haven, there are hundreds of municipalities in this land which contain an institute of higher learning. We are merely one. In your opinion, how do we rate?

Michael Scott is the ultimate nightmare boss, played by Steve Carell on The Office. But he’s not the mean kind that yells at you and demands unreasonable production and hours. He’s the kind that wants to be your friend while being completely clueless about how to interact with others.

I had always thought of Michael as representing bad bosses or buffoons, but not necessarily representing (or caricaturizing) his race as a white person. Perhaps this is because I watched The Office only intermittently until this summer. Then the miracle of DVD season releases gave me a more complete picture of him. His main qualities seem to be 1) he wants everyone to like him 2) he’s unwilling to let go of any privilege or power that he has, and 3) he’s generally unaware how his actions negatively affect others. This is uncomfortably close to how a lot of white people generally behave towards minorities.

Census statistics show that Champaign-Urbana has more bicyclists than the average American town. Urbana ranks third in Illinois (and first in towns of over 1,000 people) with 4.61 percent of the population commuting by bicycle. Champaign isn't far behind with 2.31 percent, slightly behind Carbondale. The U.S. average is right around one percent.

There is also a thriving bicycle culture in C-U. Prairie Cycle Club, ChampaignCountyBikes.org and The Bike Project co-op serve as resources and advocates for cyclists. Critical Mass, bike polo and chariot and alley cat races are frequent and well-attended. There are also several good established and unofficial bike shops around town which serve the community.

Biking around campus and in the old parts of Champaign and Urbana is possible and often enjoyable. Much of the motor traffic seems to be used to being around bicycles and often give them the benefit of the doubt at four-way stops. As you may have noticed, it's pretty flat around here, which makes it less challenging for novice cyclists to get around.

On the other hand, the outlying areas of both cities were not planned with bikes in mind, especially north of I-74. The trail system — despite the contribution of the new bike lanes along First Street — is disorganized and frustrating to navigate, especially in Campustown. Many of the secondary streets are poorly-maintained and filled with potholes.

So, does the good outweigh the bad? Do the smiles and waves from motorists outnumber the honks and fingers in your experience? How bike-friendly is Champaign-Urbana?

Yesterday, the summer edition of the Daily Illini read, "Where's the party at? Princeton Review ranks Illinois No. 16 party school." Does anyone know what's wrong with this front page? That's right English 101 students: The sentence ends in a preposition. In order to be "grammatically correct," it should be rephrased, "Where's the party?" Is this acceptable from a journalistic publication? Or should we shrug this off as merely a linguistic variation?

There are a couple other places that provide shelter for women who are victims of domestic abuse and runaway teenagers, but for the most part, the above facilities are the only places that house the homeless in our community.

I say all this to provide some evidence, pathetic though it may be, that I do venture out into the country at times, and usually do not run screaming back to suburbia. And yet, I learned something this weekend that I feel I should have known, and also that I feel is kind of gross, in a city slicker kind of way.

I'm in Singapore; here for a conceptual art conference called ISEA: International Symposium for Electronic Art. I'm presenting a paper that The Husband and I co-wrote, about Buddhism, Augmented Reality and Social Networks.

It's actually the second time I've ever been in Singapore, and I have many mixed feelings about the place. For one, it's a giant shopping mall — my "Uniquely Singapore" paraphernalia actually states that the national sport of Singapore is shopping. So me being here is like an almost-recovered alcoholic being locked in a beer factory for a week.

The white-marble mall attached to my hotel is open until 11 p.m. every night, and you have never seen such riches; it's filled with watch stores that sell watches that cost more than my car; Brookes Brothers, Mont Blanc. The mall is filled with people day and night. And this is just one mall; if you walk outside there is another, and another, and another. Non-stop.

Champaign City Council is at work trying to create more affordable housing around the downtown area, specifically north of Washington Street for those who work at and patronize the businesses in the area. Currently the rental properties in the immediate downtown are few and far between and will cost you plenty, but the council is looking to create cheaper digs for cooks, servers, bank tellers, baristas, retail associates, other downtown workers and those who spend time downtown/ What could be better than ditching the gas guzzler to conveniently coast to work on two wheels, or better yet, walk.

Those residing near the bustling entertainment district would certainly have beer, delectable cuisine, espresso, and cupcakes at their fingertips, but there are a few issues with making your home base directly next door to Neil Street: the influx of weekend revelers to the area could, frankly, just be annoying, and the nearest grocery stores are Meijer on North Prospect and Schnucks on Mattis Avenue. (That is until County Market opens its doors on Springfield Avenue — whenever that might be.)

But, there are perks aplenty. The downtown area includes a few banks, a boot repair store, a gas station, the post office, a movie theater and probably the biggest bonus — direct access to the Mass Transit District bus hub and Amtrak station. Living near the area would solve that pesky parking meter problem too.

So, do you want to live near downtown Champaign?

One thing I have noticed about dogs is that they are among the most accepting and tolerant creatures on the planet. They don’t care if you’re black or white, gay or straight, Christian or Muslim, conservative or liberal. They just sniff various parts of your body (which you may or may not appreciate) and then somehow they say to themselves in their lovable dog brains, “I like the way you smell. You’re OK.”

This week’s entries are from Michael Gerson, former speechwriter for George W. Bush, and Cal Thomas, far right-wing Christian apologist.

A quick Google search of tanning salons in the Champaign-Urbana area comes up with about 17 listed locations. Not to mention, six of these tanning factories are within walking distance from campus. My apartment alone is within three blocks from two different tanning salons. I just can’t understand their popularity. Granted — I’ve never given them any business. It’s something that has perplexed me ever since I arrived on this campus. Little tanned outlines of playboy bunnies peeking out of low-slung pants weren’t new to me, but the sheer numbers of these bunnies — with the occasional heart or star — was astounding. Young women and, even men, flock to places like Solar Tan, Electric Beach or Classic Tan to get their tan on.

With The Canopy Club hosting Central Illinois Metal Fest this weekend, don't be surprised if you see a couple of folks walking in town that don't seem too familiar with their surroundings. That is probably because they have flown half-way around the world to be here.

The CIMF has quietly grown into one of the most prominent music festivals in the world within a certain sub-section of the population. Headliners include bands like Monstrosity from Florida, Misery Index from Maryland and Incantation from Pennsylvania. They will be supported by bands from across the globe including Amagortis from Switzerland, Nominon from Sweden and Holocausto Canibal from Portugal.

Founder of the festival Matt Bishop says there are, "40 bands from seven different countries this year." The festival, now in year number seven, first began modestly at the Knights of Columbus in 1998 and ran it there until 2000. After a two year hiatus, Bishop brought it back in 2002 to The Canopy Club and has never looked back. Attendance is projected to double this year — which has seen a two day festival become three days.

A limited amount of tickets will still be available at the door all weekend.

So, with all this Metal being kicked out this weekend in our own backyard, we ask you:

Who ripped the most wicked Metal album of all time?

But this day I was lucky and found an empty chair. I plopped down my towel and flip-flops and reclined for a few minutes to enjoy the sunshine.

The chair next to me had a couple of pairs of flip-flops on it. In case you are unfamiliar with the unwritten rules of the pool, when you see peoples’ belongings on a pool chair, it means that that chair is taken. By putting something on a chair you “save” it so no one else can sit there.

As a married person, I think I should chime in. It is unfortunate that Ryan should get this message directly from the billboard. Married people often have long discussions on this topic in their monthly cabal meetings, and we all generally agree: The message that single people suck should be subliminal, so as not to arouse heated arguments. Heated arguments just distract people away from their sole purpose in life, which is to get married as quickly as possible to the nearest person they can find.

July 4th, 12:30 a.m., after watching his mom blow off about 4 bags of 2-4-year-old fireworks, my 4-year-old child, the Ex-Toddler, is sitting in the dining room making art ("for my teacher") and listening to Sonic Youth's "Sister" album on his record player.

An ex-self-loathing generation X-er laments: our children will rebel not by becoming Republicans or hippies, Hare Krishnas or gay; these would be badges of honor for us, bragging rights. No, our children will rebel against us by co-opting all that we love, all our anti-societal memes, detournments, rages against the machines, which they'll absorb in healthy contemplative ways, suffering no cynicism or alienation. No highschool shootings, no self-absorbed depression. They’ll study the lyrics like anthropologists. They’ll enjoy the songs like popmusik.

“CHILD! It's 12:30 a.m., time to go to bed." I finally said.

"Am I up past my bedtime?" he asked gleefully.

I smiled politely.

You can't always get what you want from mainstream media and in this day and age, anyone can take five minutes and start a blog. But — how structured should it be? How casual the language? Should the writer adhere to the AP Stylebook? What are the benefits or consequences of blogging?

The blogosphere's options are endless and there is enough opinion and information to keep you surfing the internet all day long. Depending on the type of blog, it's the freshest form of journalism, or even the most public form of self-expression. Blog topics are bountiful and encourage interaction — they can reach audiences further and wider than traditional news outlets — and have spawned what has become known as the "digital smokebreak."

In Champaign-Urbana we have a great variety of blogs: Little Blog on the Prairie, Champaign Taste and Illini Pundit to name a few. Each has developed it's own voice, style of writing, genre and niche market of followers. After all, you're here now — and while we're an online magazine — we like to think of ourselves as neighbors, at the least.

So, you tell us — what blog around these parts has what you like to read — and why?

The Marriage Works campaign was started by an organization called Campaign for Our Children which works to reduce teenage pregnancies. This campaign was picked up locally by the social services agency Solid Ground.

In addition to the afore-mentioned billboard, there are other segments of the campaign that say things like, “Kids of married parents do better in school” and “Married people are happier.”

As a newly-single person, I have to say, this billboard really offends me.

Every parade should be like the Washington Street Parade.

It should be led by a single fire truck, followed by a homemade sign.

The band should be filled with neighbors who value community and know only one song: “When the Saints Go Marching In.”

We all know about Texas and Memphis. Carolina and Kansas City are staples. But, Illinois BBQ?

Sounds flippy to us too. But wouldn't you know it, Bon Appetit recently named the 17th St. Bar and Grill in Murphysboro, Ill the best ribs in the US of A. And while that's not Champaign, it's getting awfully close.

Last weekend saw the premier of what is bound to be one Urbana's best annual traditions with the first annual Blues, Brews and BBQ in the parking lot of the Lincoln Square Village. The turnout, especially given its infancy was more than affirming of the fact that we, too, have a burgeoning BBQ scene that is just about ready to bust from the belt.

So, let's have it. You know the suspects with the smoke and sauce — as well as, if not better, than we do. So, who's got it in ol' C-U in the world of BBQ?

Happy 4th to all.

I’ve been scouring Craigslist for a place in Washington, D.C., where I’ll be moving in a couple of weeks. The nation’s capital is an expensive place to live, and apartments go quickly, so I find myself emailing hordes of strangers each day in hopes that one of them will have a roof that suits my needs, costs the right amount and becomes available within my timeframe. This process has led to countless hours online, a bout with carpal tunnel syndrome and some very suspect responses from property owners.

I was reminded of this when I attended a “Children First” class last Monday evening at the Family Service of Champaign County. This is a class that is now required by the State of Illinois for all parents who are going through a divorce. It teaches the parents things such as what not to say in front of your children about your spouse, how to handle visitations, communicating with your ex-spouse, etc. It is a class that teaches common decency and how to treat other people — in this case your children and ex-spouse — with dignity and respect. In other words, it is a class on how to be humane (or human).

Our home phone was connected today. This is after two and a half years of being a cell-phone-only household. This in and of itself is likely unremarkable, but in conjunction with signing up for the landline phone, we canceled our cellular service.

This is a move that has been seen as radical — almost to the point of sacrilege — by many people we know. The very thought of being without a cellular phone has become a nightmare scenario for many. Why on Earth would we choose a cell-free life?

We decided that cellular phones are not necessary for our lifestyle.

This seemed unfair to me. Asking me to reduce drug demand in the United States is about as realistic as me asking Colombians to ignore the profit on the supply side or to share it equally with everyone. We should do our parts on both sides, of course, but we shouldn’t be under the illusion that people’s desire for drugs and money is going to go away anytime soon.

As America slugged down their first cups of coffee, and had their morning debates concerning Ralph Nader’s recent statement about Barack Obama’s campaign stances, I found myself doing much the same, but with a nice trip down amnesia lane while I was at it.

There’s no doubt Ralph Nader has a sound mind for this country. The five-time presidential nominee for the Green Party, [ed. as an Independent and a write-in candidate] has shown those who would listen (and a host of others that should have), a different painted picture of what this country honestly needs.

However, the wise words and messages of concern become somewhat dull in the face of two simple, pointed words Nader accused Obama of to a Colorado newspaper : “talking white.”

Everyone’s asking me how the Garage Sale went

Having it on a Friday when The Preschooler was at work was the greatest idea! I started it at 11 a.m. instead of 7 a.m., too. I didn’t even know there was a 7 a.m. in The Morning.

So in the middle of the night on Friday morning, around 7 a.m., I hear these cars driving by, stopping, and then driving off. What the hell. The ad in the paper listed 11 a.m.! Still, that was kind of exciting. All morning people drove by, and then finally around 10:20 a.m., I started bringing the stuff out to sell. When I brought out one box, a lady who seemed to be just passing by stopped and asked me politely, “Mind if I take a quick look at what you’re bringing out?”

“Not at all," I replied.

Urbana Mayor Laurel Prussing unseated the three-term incumbent Tod Satterthwaite in a tight race in February 2005. But, Mayor Prussing’s first term is no fresh spin in political circles for her; she served as a State Representative for the Illinois House in the early 1990s.

Running on a platform to build up the Philo Road area as well as Urbana’s downtown, during Mayor Prussing’s three years in the City Building, the southeast area of Urbana near the Philo and Windsor intersection went from very little development to building up housing subdivisions and attracting popular businesses including Milo’s Restaurant.

She’s also voiced strong rejection to Ameren’s electrical and American Water Company’s water rate hikes. Mayor Prussing, at a City Council meeting, said about the hikes, “We have higher than average water rates. Our rates are higher than publicly-owned systems, and our electrical rates are higher. Both of those together are a drag on our economic growth.”

Some citizens were unhappy about the recent vote the mayor favored to allow Urbana’s Lincoln Hotel to be developed without a historic designation seal that would have protected the portion built by local architect Joseph B. Royer in 1923.

How do you view Mayor Prussing’s first three years in the mayor’s chair? What decisions do you agree or disagree with?